The Child Care Debate

Is it best for children to be home with their mum (or dad) rather than go into childcare?

This is a complex question with varying answers depending on the individuals involved. There have been numerous studies of the impact of child care outside of the home on individual children, but ultimately you will know whether it is right or not for your child.

A recent study showed that children from a stable home background experienced stress when at long day care, whereas children from a less stable home background benefited. So if you do too good a job the children won’t want to leave. Seriously though, it shows that the structure and routine provided by day care, and the attention of the staff and activities they provide can provide a positive influence in a child’s life.

Steve Biddulph, an English born Australian who is well known as a parenting guru and psychologist, has published a book in the UK called 'Raising Babies - Should under 3s go to nursery?'. Previously he has been a fan of quality child care, but having spent five years looking at the results of national and international studies of babies in long day care, he has been brave enough to change his mind, and do it quite dramatically. Biddulph says that when child care is used "too much, too early, too long", it damages babies' brain chemistry and affects their social and emotional development.

Research has shown that during at least the first two years of life, brain development is at its optimum with one on one care, whether it is from a parent, relative or a single paid carer i.e. a nanny.

My first reaction to this, is even at home with mum, care is not one on one; it's full on competition between numbers one and two in our house, but Biddulph does qualify this. It is all about the loving relationship that is developed between the child and their main carer.

Biddulph has ranked the type of child care in order of preference based on what’s best for the children, looking specifically at the under 3s.

Being home with mum (or dad) obviously ranked number one, followed by care by a relative (often Grandparents). The next ‘best’ child care option was Family Day care which provides care for up to 5 children in the home environment. A Nanny was considered a good option, but is obviously only available to the privileged few. Consider Nanny Sharing as a more affordable option. Long Day Care was down the bottom of the list.

In Germany it is hard to get long day care for children under 3, as they encourage mums to stay home. Personally I think this is a great option for the children, but it doesn’t always suit mum and dad. Financially you may need to work, and mentally, some of us are not satisfied and stimulated by being a full time mum, which ultimately makes us a miserable mum. There are some alternatives – occasional care for one or two days a week, for example, which helps give a balance.

As I sit here and write this, my nearly two year old is in Occasional Care for six hours and I am thinking that next year, at two and a half, he might do two, six hour days a week to allow me to pick up a bit more work. Am I wrong? I don't know. What I do know is that I need some time during the week to do something other than child care, and these six hours are it. I think and hope that I am a better mum for having a bit of time out to do something completely different.

A UK television program 'spied' on child care centres and there was one where a crying baby was just told to 'quit your whinging'. Ok, that is not the most positive way to respond to a young child, but I know as a mum I have said something pretty similar, and definitely more than once. The difference I suppose is despite the fact I tell my kids to quit whinging, they know I love them. Holly can be told off and upset by me, and still be asking for mummy. Perhaps she's asking for the nicer mummy to come back.

Anyway, I'm off track here. I decided to stay home with my kids because I genuinely believe that children are better off with their parents than in long day care during the first three years of their lives. I also believe that by the age of three, they need some external stimulation, and I fully advocate preschool for the ages three and four. I would find it hard to provide the stimulation and activities Holly gets at pre-school, at home, and she responds better to teaching from the pre-school teachers than she would from me.

When my oldest was about eight months old, I started a Family Day Care business. Two of the first children I looked after were eighteen months old and nine months old when they started with me. The nine month old was unhappy every day when his parents left and although he picked up pretty quickly during the day, there were other times when he needed comfort and I definitely felt I was a second best option. If that was my child, I would not have left him with me that young, even though I feel I provide good quality loving care. Over time I formed a strong bond with both children, and as they grew older, the relationship was easier for them. Other children I have looked after that young, have seemingly found it easier, but who really knows? They can't adequately express what they're feeling at that age.

The flip side of this is that a lot of mothers, and/or fathers, have no choice but to go back to work from a financial perspective. Biddulph would have us take stock of our choices and see if it is really necessary, but we also need business to be on board if we are advocating a three year maternity gap for each child.

Then there is what is right for you. If you are not enjoying being home, and you need the stimulation of work, surely you are going to be a better parent to your children if you are happy with what you are doing?

When choosing care for your children, I think word of mouth recommendations are the best way to go. If another mother who you like and trust, is positive about a care option for her child, then that has got to be good.

I would also visit the carer or centre you are considering, during the working day, so you can see what is going on. A boss of mine years ago told me he and his wife had visited a long day care centre with the thought of leaving their six month old there. He said it was like a production line - all the babies lined up in a row in highchairs waiting for the next mouthful of food. He ultimately made the decision that his wife would stay home with the baby. I just hope it was her decision as well...

Steve Biddulph's book is available from Amazon, if you are interested. I don't believe it has been published in Australia, but Amazon will deliver here. Just remember the price is in Engligh pounds. You might also be interested in others of his books:

</p>

Child Care Options

Nanny

A nanny is employed by you or through an agency to look after your child in your own home. They usually have a relevant qualification and experience and you can find someone who is specifically trained to look after babies when your child is young. A nanny can live in or come to you as required.

Advantages

• Small number of children per carer.
• Consistent care from one person, allowing a strong relationship to develop.
• Care in your own familiar home environment.
• Flexibility to take children to playgroups, parks, classes, visits etc.
• Flexibility to arrange the days and hours you require.
• Potential to include other household tasks such as ironing.
• Your child has less exposure to lots of other children and the childhood illnesses that go with them.
• You can have a direct say in your child's routine and care, as opposed to having to fit in with the routine at a child care centre.

Disadvantages

• Dependence on one person, so if they are unwell, you will have to arrange alternative care yourself.
• A nanny can be a more expensive option, especially if you go through an agency and have their fees on top. If you have more than one child in their care, it becomes more cost effective.
• You are ultimately responsible for choosing the nanny and need to ensure they have adequate experience, qualifications and references. (an agency would help with this)
• You need to establish a contract with the nanny and ensure you have adequate insurance. If you employ a nanny directly, you will be responsible for wages, tax and superannuation.
• Your child may miss out on contact with other children, unless you arrange regular playdates or outings.

Nanny Share

Nanny sharing is an arrangement between you and another family to share a nanny, usually with care in one of your homes. It has a lot of the advantages of a nanny, while sharing the costs.

Advantages

• Cheaper alternative to a nanny.
• Small number of children per carer.
• Consistent care from one person, allowing a strong relationship to develop.
• Care in your own or a familiar home environment.
• Flexibility to take children to playgroups, parks, classes, visits etc.
• Flexibility to arrange the days and hours you require.
• Potential to include other household tasks such as ironing.
• Your child has less exposure to lots of other children and the childhood illnesses that go with them.
• You can have a direct say in your child's routine and care, as opposed to having to fit in with the routine at a child care centre.
• Your child can develop a good relationship with another child.
• You and the other family share the responsibility for the paper work.

Disadvantages

• Dependence on one person, so if they are unwell, you will have to arrange alternative care yourself.
• You are ultimately responsible for choosing the nanny and need to ensure they have adequate experience, qualifications and references. (an agency would help with this)
• You need to establish a contract with the nanny and ensure you have adequate insurance. If you employ a nanny directly, you will be responsible for wages, tax and superannuation.
• With a nanny-share, if care is not in your home, you lose the advantage of not having to pack a bag and drop off and pick up your child. You also don't get any additional tasks included.
• You and the other family have to agree on the care of your children. It may be hard to find a family who you are comfortable sharing with.
• The two families will have to co-ordinate holidays and any changes in the arrangement.
• If you have a disagreement with the nanny it will affect the other family.

Family Day Care

Family Day Carers provide child care for up to 5 children under school age in their own homes.

Advantages

• Small number of children per carer.
• Consistent care from one person, allowing a strong relationship to develop.
• Home environment and flexibility to take children to playgroups, parks, visits etc.
• More flexible than a day care centre in arrangements e.g. a day care centre may only allow consecutive days, with the same hours. Family Day care can be more flexible with the days and number of hours you require.
• Can provide food for the children.

Disadvantages

• Carers can be unqualified (but will have first aid certificate, training from the day care coordinators and experience).
• If your carer is ill, there is no immediate fill in, as in a day care centre.
• May not have access to the range of facilities and activities available in a day care centre.

Long Day Care

Advantages

• Long hours available to suit the working day and travel time.
• Usually good facilities and range of activties you may not get at home or with Family Day Care.
• Usually provide cooked meals for the children.
• Access to relief staff if regular staff are unwell, ensuring there is no disruption to care for you or your child.
• Provides a structured program, routines and ativities. Long Day Care centres often have a Pre-school program for children 3 years and older.
• Child Care centres are regulated by the government and staff have relevant experience and qualifications.

Disadvantages

• Although staff to child ratios are good, there is no guarantee of consistency, which makes it harder for your child to bond with one carer.
• Larger number of children than Family Day Care.
• Lack of flexibility in hours and time available, so you may end up paying more than with other care.
• An unfamiliar environment for your child, which might make it hard for them to settle.
• Exposure to a larger number of children and the infections that come with them.
• Many centres have long waiting lists, especially for the under 2s, where staff to child ratio is higher.
• May be more expensive than Family Day Care.

Occasional Care

Occasional Care provides short periods of care for children under school age, either on a casual or a regular basis. Occasional care centres might be run by the local council or a community group in your area.

Advantages

• Flexible care available for between 1 hour and the full day, depending on your needs. Allows parents to arrange appointments, have some time to themselves, or do the chores child free for a couple of hours.
• Your child gets to socialise with other children in a safe, friendly environment.
• Occasional care is regulated by the Government and staff will have relevant experience and qualifications.
• Provides a structured program of care for your child, with a range of activities.

Disadvantages

• Limited spaces and often restricted booking arrangements e.g. you can't book more than a week in advance and spaces often go on the first morning of that week.
• Often different children there each week so no consistency for your child.
• More expensive per hour, because of the flexibility and lack of commitment required from you.

Pre-school

Pre-schools provide a structured program for children from the age of 3 to 5, in preparation for starting school. Hours may vary, but are generally similar to school (9am to 3pm) and children may attend for 2 or 3 days a week.

Advantages

• a structured program of care for your child, with a range of activities.
• helps your child build the skills required for school - both social and developmental, but in a play orientated environment.
• allows your child to build realtionships with other children the same age.
• allows the child to get used to being away from home, without it being a long day.
• pre-schools are regulated by the government and staff have relevant experience and qualifications.

Disadvantages

• Often limited spaces, so you need to put your child's name on the waiting list early.
• The hours are great for the children, but mean if you are looking for work you need to find something part time or having an additional care option. Long day care centres often run a pre-school program for children aged 3 to 5.
• Pre-school costs are not always subsidised in the way Long Day Care or Family Day Care is, so it can be a more expensive option. Funding for pre-schools varies state to state. Please look at the Centrelink website for more details on eligibility for child care benefit.
• Pre-schools usually have similar holidays to schools, so if you are working you will need to arrange alternative care during those periods.